…a 19 years old boy came home with his part human, part rodent and part alien sister Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta(ok that’s a long long name) from a strange faraway and mysterious but beautiful place called Rayhandar.
Despite riding the spanking new Miz Sirs Ganush V4.0, which, just so you know, is an extremely hi-tech flying vehicle that zips through the air at double the speed of light completely silent... They took 13 hours to reach home. You can go imagine how far Rayhandar is lor…
Anyway, the duo reached home and were both starving since their last meal was before the travel.
Therefore, Beyondlink(the 19 year old), being an awesome chef that he has always been, decided to whip up a nice meal of pasta so he went to prepared the dish while SJAG(short form for Stefani-long-name-Germanotta) helped out at everything she could.
They added everything they could find into the pasta sauce. It includes carrots, cigarette butts, whatever McDonald’s sauces there is in the fridge, salt, sugar, lemon, green pea and pee, ants from the table, cat litter, toothpaste, salmon brains and every other thing they could think of.
The pasta sauce smells heavenly, almost like the lousy pousy Silky Girl perfume my mother uses. The taste of it was even better, it tasted like… uhm, it was just divine lah ok but however Beyondlink tasted that something was missing.
Just then, their pet cat-frog hybrid with the head of a fish named Di-Yi-Re hopped into the aromatic kitchen.
“This would do the trick!” gushed SJAG as she tossed their grotesque pet into the sizzling pan of sauce. The poor pet meow-croaked in torment as it got cruelly cooked alive.
Soon after, they set the tables in a fine-dining style and enjoyed their meal. Beyondlink was anything but sad as he bite into their hybrid pet’s grey fish head.
“Mmmm… I never knew Di-Yi-Re (the pet) tasted this good…” he mumbled as he chewed delicately.
“Yeah it taste really good! Haiyo we should eat it earlier lor, now we won’t have to hear it’s annoying croaks and meows anymore…”
Beyondlink nodded in agreement and continued… “I think Di-Yi-Re’s tender meat is due to its food.”
“Oh… wait, I don’t recall seeing it eat anything leh, what does it eat ah?” asked SJAG.
“Of course you don’t. Di-Yi-Re feeds on our dead skin and excess nails while we are sleeping, that’s why you don’t see it eat anything.”
SJAG dazed for 3 seconds before exclaiming, “I love it!”
After lunch, the two of them were completely bloated and lazy but since their parents are those really strict type and have always taught them to wash their dishes after meals, one of them have to do the washing.
They decided to play a game of poker and whoever wins would be forfeited to do the chores.
Halfway through the game, SJAG abruptly jumped of her seat and was shaking tremendously. As she quake, her usual small black eyes turned huge and olive green. Beyondlink ducked back in horror as he has no idea what was about to happen!
SJAG continued morphing.
Her chocolate brown hair was consistently turning grey while her eyelids swelled. The plain t-shirt and shorts that she was wearing ripped apart revealing a tight shiny material underneath… “Help!!! Help!!!” she cried loudly.
Beyondlink witness the entire incident in horror but there was nothing he could ever do but to watch his sister transform into something so monstrous and scary!
All of a sudden, there was a small explosion and an intensive white light blinded Beyondlink’s vision temporarily! All the screams of help earlier on was replaced by a high pitched tune…
An silhouette began to appear among the light… It was SJAG… but this time she was entirely different.
Her brown cropped hair is now long and white with distinct bangs. Her eyes were shadowed by what seemed like a safety goggle. But beneath that shield were the darkest, longest and thickest eyelashes any girl would ever possess. It resembles black butterfly wings.
She had the most outrageous outfit donned ever. It looks like somewhat like a swimming costume made out of shiny black latex and finally, her hand held a long unfamiliar pole with glowing blue crystals on one end.
“Uhm… Stefani… is… that… you?” Beyondlink whimpered faintly.
A firm voice replied “No,” paused for a split second before continuing…
“My name is Lady Gaga. And this is not just dance but just so lame!!!!”
Omg this whole entry is totally lame and no link I have to stop here or I would never stop because I’m actually having fun! HAHAHAHA! I have nothing else to blog!!!
This afternoon Gary came to my place and we cooked pasta(and don’t worry I didn’t kill my cats lah) for us all and my younger sister too.
And then I have nothing to do so blog lor… This is what happens when boredom, urge to blog and having nothing at all to blog comes together. It becomes nonsense, hahaha!
I’m feeling sicklish too, omg I should go and twit that!
By the way, I can write storybook hor! Hahahahaha! I think I should continue this brilliant absurd story in some other entry!!!
On a slightly related note,
2 MORE DAY’S TO BUYING GAGA’S CONCERT TICKETS! :D
